Digging Deep

Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy!
Down in my heart.
Down in my heart.
Down in my heart.
I’ve got joy, joy, joy, joy
Down in my heart
Down in my heart to stay!

I remember singing that little ditty in Sunday School when I was little (at least those are the words I recall). I love the tune. I love the words and I love the intent of the song.

But…those words are hard to believe and live by when your world turns upside down.

My last post was on February 3rd when Steve went into the hospital. Although he was released four days later, he ended up back in the hospital on the 20th. That time he spent a week in the hospital and my “joy reserves” were pretty much depleted. I’m a pretty tough ol’ bird and usually hold it all together pretty well, but February almost did me in! Maintaining an attitude of joy while in the midst of turmoil, fear and sadness is so difficult and, I suppose that is why I had such a tough time writing for this blog.

Fortunately, my sweetie has several fabulous doctors and they changed his treatment plan and, while he is no longer receiving chemotherapy, he has been moved to an immunotherapy protocol which allows his body time and space to repair itself. It has taken over six weeks, but his former self is starting to emerge and for that I rejoice.

As Steve continues to improve we have been able to bring back some semblance of normalcy to our days. I’ve planted our garden, painted a little bit, completed a couple of sewing projects and began cooking a variety of new meals (he isn’t turning his nose up at most food any longer)! This past week, on Wednesday, Steve mowed a small portion of our front yard. Yesterday, he moved his stationary bike in from the garage and rode it…TWICE! And today, while I went to town, he dusted the living room and dust-mopped the floors! Yes, things are slowly returning to what we consider to be normal!

During these past two plus months I’ve thought about joy, what I have said and/or written about it, what I believed about the concept. I’ve had a couple of insights…insignificant perhaps but biggies for me.

Joy, joy, joy, joy….sometimes it is buried too deeply under the worries of the day to easily find it. I almost feel guilty for saying “There’s always something to be joyful about. We just have to look for it” . It’s not really that simple after all. Even when we look for it, in times of stress and earthly troubles, it’s nearly impossible to locate.

Joy, joy, joy, joy,
Down in my heart to stay…

In spite of what life heaps on us, we will keep trying to find joy in our day and I encourage you to do the same. We are not alone on this journey. There is happiness, light and goodness on the path. We may to shovel some debris before we see it, but see it we can…if we will!!

Our recent joys:

  • Steve is feeling better each day.
  • Our 11 year old Malti-Poo was found after two days and nights in the country…alone.
  • Encouragement…consistent and constant from family and friends.
  • The garden is planted.
  • The hummingbirds are back.
  • We are occasionally visited by our Cardinal friends.
  • Baby birds in the nest above our porch.
  • That rattlesnake seen on the road was not in my yard!
  • Our Savior, Jesus Christ, died for us so that we might live!
  • God is on His throne and His eyes are ever on us!

The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart greatly rejoices,
And with my song I will praise Him

Psalms 28:7

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